I'm in need of a Change...

So I have been back to work for about a month and a half and so far it has been ok. Its not great, I feel like I never left and I dread leaving Gabi everytime I leave. I miss her like crazy. I count down the hours to get my hands on her and kiss her all over! Im grateful to have such a great family to help me with her, it makes it a little easier knowing that she is in great hands. But the fact of the matter is I sometimes feel like im sufficating in that big orange box, and I want to break free! I need change, If i have to work for now I need something different because I am BURNT OUT! I hate the feeling of having to work because if i dont we wont have enough to provide for Gabi, or pay our pile of medical bills. I think that is where the anxiety comes in! I want more than anything to be at home with my baby but i know that is not reality for right now. I know that I'm not the only mother out there that has to work and miss out on being with their children every second. I really hate the feeling that I have felt the last few weeks. Being super broke, behind on bills, and going to work just makes me frustrated! I know it will get better, I have faith that this time in my life will pass and I can be the mom that i want to be. I think about how liberating it would be to just walk out of work one day and never look back, I'm tired of feeling trapped or stuck where i am at. In so many ways its comfortable but Im not sure if i want comfortable right now. I want change, i want to go to work and be happy to be there, feel appriciated for what i do, and come home to my daughter happy, not depressed and annoyed. Gabi has been my life saver. She makes me SOOO happy, she takes all those feelings away. The 4 months off I had with her I felt like myself again, I was happy, things didnt bother me at all, and I didnt have a poor me attitude. The negitive was gone. It was refreshing,I even lost weight without even trying! This feeling i have had lately is one of the main reasons i was dreading going back to work in the first place. It stresses me out and I have gained ten pounds in the last month because of it... I Need Change, I need something that makes me happy, that i can feel good about myself doing, that I can feel like i am worth something, I need to get out of this rut because I dont want this to affect my family like it has in the past. I have been praying and praying to figure out what i'm supposed to do. Change is liberating in so many ways and terrifying in many others. I feel like im complaining and that is not my intention, I just want to feel at peace with my life and right now it feels more like chaos. I know that things will get better and if i trust in the lord, and put him first I will recieve the answers that I am looking for. I know this too shall pass. I just hope it passes sooner rather than later!